I met Ashley on the shuttle as we left SheSpeaks and headed to the airport. As we chatted, I learned that we shared something in common – we are both adoptive mama’s to some pretty special boys! I SO wish I would have had more time to talk with Ashley and get to know her.
Ashley shares her heart over on her blog www.joytreasure.blogspot.com. She’s a talented writer and an amazing artist! Today she shares a special post that I hope will touch the hearts of those who are considering adoption or those currently walking the long, expensive, and emotional road of adoption.
She has also given me an awesome piece of her artwork to giveaway to one lucky blog reader today!
The verse on the bottom of the painting says, “Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my meditation. (Psalm 51)
To enter for a chance to win this art, all you have to do is leave a comment on today’s post! How easy is that??? You know you want this beautiful piece hanging in a special place where you can see it every day!
How to Pray Through Adoption
There we were my husband and I, side by side facing our social worker, answering what seemed like THOUSANDS of questions about ourselves; discussing the possibilites of endless scenarios of adoption.
My heart began to race. My mind began to go into a tailspin as our social worker kept talking. There was so much to discuss. My mind drifted away toward my inner insecurities. Outwardly, I wasn’t pregnant. The child that God would give us would never come from my own body. I had absolutely no control over anything in this adoption process, so it seemed.
I couldn’t watch what I ate or the medications that I took if I had a cold because I wasn’t pregnant. I didn’t know if the pregnancy was going along fine or if it was a difficult time. I had no idea about anything, except fear and a loss of control.
As fear began to settle into my mind and try to make itself comfortable, the LORD began to impress upon my heart, “I am bigger than the paperwork.” I began to recall 1 Peter 5:7, “casting all your anxieties (care) on him, becaues he cares for you.” That tiny little verse I learned in Sunday school as a little girl was comforting me as a fearful grown woman.
“Thank you LORD!” I said. God cared for me. God cared for our unborn child. God cared for the birth mother. God was in control of the entire process. I just had to do one thing. Trust HIM completely.
From that moment on, I was determined to not be shaken by the adoption process. If God’s Word IS active and alive, it was going to shape my heart through the process of becoming a mother through paperwork. Every fear, uncertainty, doubt and careless question from someone who had never adopted and wanted to know more than I wanted to share about the process, would be prayed over.
My Prayer Commitment
I committed to do two things:
Pray God’s Attributes over every concern, and pray it quickly.
Here are a few concerns I faced as an adoptive mother:
1. “Was the birth mother taking care of herself and the baby?”
God is Omniscience- (ALL-KNOWING). Job 37: 16 says He is “perfect in knowledge.” I prayed through Psalm 139 for our child. God knew when the birth mother would rise up and lie down. He knew how anxious I could become as I waited during this process. I gave it to Him because He knew it all anyway. I began praying for the birth mother and our child when I didn’t even know if there was a pregnancy. Every time I had a fear, I would go back to what God told me in the Bible to be true and believed it. I arose from prayer and felt better. Our circumstances had not changed. But I was changing on the inside.
God is Wisdom– Because He is ALL- WISE, He knew what was best for the birth mother, for us and our child. I would do better to fill my mind with His wise Word than to let my mind fester on my limited knowledge and fear.
2. “How long LORD will the silent waiting last?”
God is PEACE. Every time I begin to let my mind wander off and get fearful or confused about whether this was the right plan for us, I held fast to the truth of 1 Corinthians 14:33 which says, “God is not a God of confusion but of peace.” There was no doubt God had chosen us to adopt. My husband and I agreed not to have any knowledge of any possible adoption until everything was legally clear. It was what we felt most comfortable with and how we guarded our hearts in the roller coaster ride of adoption. So there were many, many days and months of silence and uncertainty.
3. “I am so tired LORD. So weary. So discouraged today.”
God gave me the Holy Spirit who was interceding for us when I couldn’t utter any words.
He was the “lifter of my head” as it says in Psalms 3:3 when I felt downtrodden. I began to thank Him when I became weary for being so powerful, Holy, Sovereign and Good. The more I began to think about the adoption, I began to turn my thoughts toward God instead. So in turn adoption became more about what God was saying to me and teaching me, than me worrying about the entire process. This was freedom because I began to not worry but rest ALL my cares in my LORD.
4. “Am I really going to be a mother one day?”
I would tell the LORD when I felt frustrated as I watched new mothers or friends have babies and more babies. I just wanted one. One to love with all my heart. So I would confess this doubt and give it back to the LORD. I began to thank Him for the future blessing HE was going to give us.
5. “Do you hear me when I pray LORD? I don’t see anything happening.”
Last, I felt at times a wave of disbelief come over me. I would become frustrated at myself because I would be doing so good praying all these things back to God. Then it would hit me during the most surprising times. Sometimes I would be at work and this feeling of doubt would crash like a wave on a rock. I would then talk to my heart and pray. Psalm 54:2 says, “Oh God, hear my prayer; give ear to the words of my mouth.”
God answered every prayer for us and our child. He showed up in a big and mighty way. When we adopted our child I couldn’t believe it was really happening because I had become so focused on the LORD and not fixating on the timeline or fears in the process. What a nice surprise it was the day we received a phone call. A joy I will never forget!!!
My Prayer Challenge for Adoptive Mothers
On a piece of paper, draw two columns. One on the right and one on the left. Write down your top three to five fears/concerns of the adoption process on the left side and on the right side go back to God’s attributes and match them up with your fear/concern. Next search scripture out to fill your mind with and believe God is working! Make note of a particular scripture God is repeating through a sermon, podcast, devotion or friend. Repetition is how God uses His Word to get out attention. Don’t miss it because you are too anxious or worried. Be still and listen.
I pray this post encouraged any adoptive mother out there in the blogosphere today.
Rest in God’s Attributes, promises, and truth.
Not your fears and doubts.