Today I have already made several really good decisions.
1. I walked 2 miles pushing Jackson in his stroller.
2. I ordered a medium Dr Pepper at Sonic instead of a large.
3. I decided to finally face something head on and blog about it each week as part of a healing process.
You see, there’s more to my story than just infertility and adoption. Two years ago I was diagnosed with PCOS – Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome – and it has wreaked havoc on my life.
I’ve gained 20 pounds, I stopped having periods, I began to have acne as if I were a teenager going through puberty, I began feeling really down, and my sex drive tanked. I mean, NON-EXISTENT! (That’s not really good for a marriage)
The day I was diagnosed I went home, climbed in bed, and pulled the covers over my head. I’ve kind of been living with the covers over my head ever since – ignoring the side effects that plague me and the toll they are taking on me physically and emotionally.
I haven’t exactly ignored things on purpose. My doctor didn’t really acknowledge the diagnoses as much as she probably should have. She was focused on getting me pregnant. She wanted to give me what I desired so much – a baby. But when she told me I would in all likelihood have to take fertility drugs to become pregnant, I checked out.
John and I were buried in adoption paperwork and later we became distracted by the Jackson’s adoption. Jackson was born and for the past (almost) nine months I have been in major mommy mode. But the fact remains – PCOS is taking a toll on me. I am not myself. The best way that I know to describe it is that I feel “blah” – physically and emotionally and I am SICK. OF. IT.
A fellow SheSpeaks graduate, Marni, also lives with PCOS and has been bold enough to start blogging about it. She has encouraged me SO much. She has let me ask questions and has provided great information. Together, we hope to not only heal from PCOS, but encourage others struggling with it, while educating people about the medical condition.
My life is about to change – and the hardest part is I’m going to have to end my love affair with Dr Pepper. (sigh…) Dr Pepper and PCOS just don’t mix.
I have several goals as I face PCOS head on.
1. Find a new doctor who will help me! My hormones are jacked up!
2. Work out, eat better, drink less (and eventually no) Dr Pepper (big sigh…)
3. Consider seeing a counselor – really, folks….this diagnoses has been hard!
I plan to blog each week about this new journey. I would appreciate your prayers. They are much needed!
P.S. I just made another good choice – salad for lunch! 🙂