Jackson and I did something outside of our comfort zones yesterday. We joined our local Wild + Free group. We spent a fun morning tramping through the woods, enjoying nature and the crisp winter day.
Joining new groups causes both of us a lot of anxiety. We’ve had too many bad experiences over the years – people who judge, people we aren’t accepting of Jackson’s differences.
Having a child with differences can make it hard to connect.
But connection is exactly what we’ve been lacking in our homeschool journey. We need a group of like-minded mamas and kids to learn with, because homeschooling can get very lonely.
This year my word is EXPECTANT – of all God is going to do in and through our homeschool journey. But I can’t be expectant of how God’s going to move by just sitting at home, never trying new things or meeting new people. It’s when I step out of my comfort zone that hope is ignited.
Yesterday, I felt a spark of hope.
Yesterday, I felt connection.
We talked about winter time in the woods. We observed trees without their leaves and pink berries against a brown backdrop. We saw beautiful white-tailed deer and mallard ducks. We saw a tree that had been chewed on by a beaver, along with its dam. We met new friends.
Yesterday was so refreshing.
And then it was time to leave, and Jackson didn’t want to go. He hit the group leader and pulled her hair and for a brief moment shame settled over me. Satan did all he could to get me down. I started second-guessing myself and whether or not we’d be welcomed back at the group. Satan loves to snuff out hope. Satan despises connection.
Jackson quickly settled down and I apologized, and slowly the shame lifted.
The day was too good to let a little snag ruin it.
Yesterday was God’s way of reminding me that if I live expectantly, He WILL show up!