I’m Days Behind on My Advent Reading
I missed a day when I had the stomach virus last Friday and I’ve yet to find a quiet time to settle down before the Lord and catch up. And guess what? I’m feeling the effects of a non-existent quiet time. I’m sort of grumpy. I’m not as patient as I should be. I’m in desperate need of some holiday cheer. The kind that is only found within the pages on my Bible.
Turning Four Is Hard (For this Mama)
Grief is not a one time thing. It’s something that comes out of nowhere, and this week I’ve found that a birthday can bring it on. Not sobbing my eyes out grief. Just missing what-should-have been grief.
You know, a little boy who can get himself dressed.
A little boy who’s completely potty trained.
A little boy talking up a storm.
A little boy who can just be a kid and not spend his days in therapy.
Apraxia and Sensory Processing Disorder mean life looks different than we thought it would when we brought Jackson home from the hospital.
And life is not bad; it’s just a different kind of normal.
I Shoot A lot of My Photos in Auto
I’m not sure why I feel the need to confess this, probably because it’s true and I feel like I’m a fake photographer because I do it.
I love taking pictures. I have an amazing camera. I’ve even taken a photography class. But when you have a very wiggly kid and very little time to mess with buttons, you shoot in auto and then edit. I’ve missed many great shots because I was too focused on settings.
Lately, I’ve been getting a lot of compliments on my photos. I’ve discovered that I truly love capturing moments. And with these realizations, the Enemy has decided to make me feel like I’m a big. fat. fake. He whispers lies, real photographers don’t use auto.
It sounds silly, but it’s a real struggle.
Why can’t I just accept the compliments, shoot in auto and cherish the memories?
I’m in Desperate Need of Some Alone Time
I told John there’s only one thing I want for my birthday (in February). A night’s stay at a nearby hotel. I never knew how much I needed my alone time until I became a wife and mama. It’s not that I don’t love spending time with my boys, because I do. But every now and then (like right about now) I need a moment to myself – more than an hour at Target can fix. I’ve learned this is not a selfish request; but a healthy one for the sake of my sanity. (and John and Jackson’s too)
I’m Not Picking One Word for the New Year
The past two years I’ve chosen a word and focused on it for 365 days. In 2014 it was Gratitude. This year is was Intentional. Both years God taught me a lot through those words. This year, however, I’m just not feeling it, so I’m giving myself grace. I figure God will teach me a lot in 2016 with or without One Word.
Doubt Has Trickled In
We’ve had quite the debacle with health insurance lately. Four months of denied claims for Jackson’s therapies. We’ve gone round and round with the insurance company. We’ve refiled claims three times. We’ve worried about how we’d pay for all those unpaid bills.
A few weeks ago I realized I doubted God’s ability to fix the mess. Somewhere deep inside I didn’t believe the insurance would come through and the bills would get paid. I prayed and asked God to forgive me. I asked him to exchange my unbelief with fierce faith. I prayed He’d move mountains on our behalf.
Yesterday we learned that one of the many claims had finally been approved! Praise Jesus! It’s a glimmer of hope in a pretty overwhelming situation, but we feel it means that the other claims will be approved too. At least that’s what we’re believing and hoping for.