When You’re About to Reach Your Breaking Point….

Sometimes you just need a break or you’re going to reach your breaking point.

I was teetering on the edge of break down right after Christmas.

My patience were thin.

I wanted to pull my hair out.

There were days I just wanted to run away.

I was ashamed of my attitude and the thoughts swirling in my head.

John and I discussed my feelings.

I talked them over with my counselor.

I realized I hadn’t been away from Jackson for more than a few hours since our trip to Boston in May.

Since that time we had endured a lot of sickness, surgery, and a very long recovery. Then we celebrated Jackson’s birthday and the holidays.

I had a breakdown during Jackson’s birthday party.

He was overwhelmed.

I was overwhelmed.

And I yelled at him. In front of all his friends and our family.

I took him to his room and I went to the other room and cried.

So much for a happy day.

As I cried in our spare bedroom, wishing all the guests would just go home, I knew I desperately needed a time out.

Being a stay-at-home mom doesn’t come easy to me.

The monotony can sometimes drive me crazy.

Being a stay-at-home mom is the hardest thing I have ever done.

I fail daily.

Thankfully I have a husband who gets how difficult it is to stay home with a strong-willed toddler day in and day out.

Thankfully I have a Savior who doesn’t expect perfection, but offers grace.

John called my parents and explained that I needed some time away (my pride kept me from making the call).

My parents agreed to watch Jackson for four days so that I could go with John to a conference in Seattle.

I spent three glorious days roaming the streets of Seattle.

I captured memories with my lens.

 

 

 

I soaked up the alone time.

I ate way too much.

I enjoyed a massage.

I took a nap.

I slept late.

I read (and finished) a book.

I started another one.

I counted gifts.

#138 Walking through the rain.

#141 Vibrant tulips.

#142 Finding a Dr Pepper in Seattle.

#143 Sunshine in Seattle.

#145 The Space Needle at night.

#147 First sight of the snow capped mountains.

#150 Naps on the plane. 

I didn’t have to change diapers, watch the Disney channel, or remove a toddler from the top of the table for almost a week.

But I still called every day to check on Jackson.

I made my parents send pictures.

I watched videos of him Thursday night before I fell asleep because I just needed to hear his giggles.

By the end of the week, I was ready to go home and squeeze my Little Man.

Because I love him. Like crazy. Even when he pushes my buttons.

This mama just needed a break so that she could be a better mama.

Not a mama on the verge of breaking.

And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.