These days I’m finding joy in a fizzy Dr Pepper poured over extra ice. My Bible open and a pumpkin spice candle flickering on my happy turquoise table.
I’m finding joy in throwing a load of laundry in and putting something in the CrockPot for dinner.
I’m finding joy in the freedom of this season. To breathe. To linger. To fill up what’s been poured out the past five and a half years.
Seven words often pop into my head when I start to feel flustered; when I start to feel pressure because maybe I’m not doing enough.
There is no striving in His love.
I repeat those words and sometimes I sing them to myself.
God continually reminds me this is a season of rest and rejuvenation. I think I’m finally starting to embrace it.
In her new book, Fierce Hearted, Holley Gerth writes, God took me through a season of go and do and dream to this new one of stay and rest and be.
God knew I needed to read Holley’s words as I adjust to this new season I find myself in. I was thrilled to learn I had made the launch team for her new book. It’s unlike any of her others – although they are all good. This book is vulnerable and real and raw. This book gave me permission to embrace the place the Lord has me. Holley is brave with her words. Her storytelling is splendid. The writing delicious, making me want to reread sentences over and over again.
I tend to find my worth in what I accomplish instead of in what Jesus accomplished for me.
I think I have to be doing grand things – writing books, posting blogs, running a successful photography business, raising thousands for the Apraxia Walk – in order to really matter.
But God is calling me to something different.
Holley writes, This means intentionally choosing a different pace…it means refusing to give in to the fear that you should always be doing more and instead continuing to faithfully, unglamorously do what matters most…To know we don’t have to push so hard…we can be obedient and leave the results to God.
My ministry is motherhood and instead of reaching the masses I’m to reach the one little boy standing right in front of me.
Instead of building a platform I’m dedicated to being a present and praying parent.
I am embracing the quiet moments that matter most.
1 Thessalonians 4:11 says, Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life.
Holley writes, I would fill in the blank differently. Make it your ambition to change the world. Make it your goal to do grand things for God. Make it your aim to be busy and in demand. I am in need of a tender edit.
She goes on to say, And I find often what I’m asking, really, when I’m restless and striving, is not, ‘What will glorify God and how can I enjoy Him?’ but instead, “How can I be good and prove my worth?’ I have noble intentions in this question. Because for so long what I thought God wanted most was for me to behave. But I am learning, slowly learning, that what he really wants is my affection…This changes everything, because ‘being good’ often translates to doing what is outwardly noticeable or religious…But God, I am discovering, is not interested in the show.
God doesn’t care how many people I reach through my words, if I don’t reach the heart of my son.
God cares more about the time I spend at my happy turquoise table, with my face in His word, than the time spent on social media.
God doesn’t require hustle and striving and proving.
He simply asks for my heart.
A Fierce Hearted Woman knows the bravest thing she can do is sit at the feet of Jesus and follow where He leads.
***Holley’s new book is currently available for preorder and I can’t recommend it enough. You can get your copy here. ***