It happens just at the time God knew it would and should…
This is my second year to read Ann Voskamp’s The Greatest Gift during Advent. Last year I answered the question What are you longing for? with these words: For Jackson to talk. I’m worried.
A year later and my longing is still remarkably the same. We’ve seen so much progress in Jackson’s speech this year, but there are still days when I literally beg God for the words to come. And some days hope drifts just out of reach and I forget that God’s timing is perfect, that none of the delays surprise Him, and that He can turn my doubt into belief.
There are days when I fight back tears because of words like these: In the thin air of Advent, you may not even know how to say it out loud: ‘I thought it would be easier.’ And your God comes near: I will provide the way. You may not even know how to tell: ‘I thought it would be different.’ And your God draws close: I will provide grace for the gaps. You may not even know how to find words for it: ‘I thought I would be….more.” And your God reaches out: I will provide Me.
Because these questions have been on the tip of my tongue more than I care to admit. Maybe not spoken, but swirling in my mind and in my heart.
The speech delays often feel like a mountain taunting me; looming and massive. But Ann Voskamp says that every mountain that every Christian ever faces, the Lord levels with sufficient grace.
Oh and I need His grace.
On the days when I lose hope.
On the days when frustrations are high because communication is hard.
On the days when he falls asleep and we miss speech therapy.
Advent is a season of waiting; anticipating the day that marks Christ’s birth. But this Advent I’m waiting for another miracle. I’m anticipating, hoping, and praying for the day my son births words.
And I remind myself by the glow of the tree lights, that it will happen just at the time God knew it would and should.