I remember peeking through the blinds and watching the group of girls next door. Their laughter was like a dagger to my heart. While they had fun, oblivious of the girl next door, I was alone in my room wondering why I didn’t belong.
I questioned what was wrong with me.
I wondered why I hadn’t been invited. After all, they were in my class.
And now, even at 32, there are still times I feel like I’m on the outside looking in.
I’ve never been part of the in crowd.
My close friends have always been just one or two – and I’m grateful for them – because they’ve endured the hard parts of life with me.
But there’s still a part of me that wants so badly to belong.
I crave community.
I take it personally when a friendship fades over time.
All these years later and I’m still asking God what’s wrong with me.
And then He reminds me, late in the quiet of the night, that Jesus only had 12. They were his closest companions – but of those 12 only a few shared the intimate relationship with him that I do desperately crave to share with others.
I do belong – even when the phone doesn’t ring and the invites don’t come.
And you belong too.
We belong to the One who understands the longing and the hurt.
But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world. (1 John 4:4)
***Today I’m linking up for Five Minute Friday. You can join all the fun here.