Want to know a secret?
I fear my words don’t matter. I fear that my gift isn’t being used enough for the Kingdom of God.
Deep inside I wish my platform was bigger. Should I have worked harder to get published by a traditional publisher?
I don’t want my words to go to waste.
I read a lot of blogs and a lot of books. Life-changing words. Do my words matter as much as the ones I read on the blogs that are viewed thousands of times every month – if not millions?
I measure my worth and greatness to God by the number of blog comments I get, the number of books I’ve sold, and the number of people who like my Facebook page.
After moping around for several days, believing I didn’t have as much to offer as some of the big name bloggers, these words jumped from the pages of the book I was reading. They were words meant to be read as a mother praying for her son, but God knew the words would reach a deep place in my heart.
They’ll be tempted to look at their lives and think that to really matter in this world, they’ll have to do something big. But that’s not the truth. I’m convinced God cares less about how much we accomplish in life – the “great things” we do in His name – than He does about how we respond to the daily things He allows us to experience. (Praying for Boys: Asking God for the Things They Need Most)
We live in a world where greatness is measured by fame and fortune. The bigger the better.
Paul Miller, in A Praying Life, describes a woman who struggled with her worth the way I often find myself struggling.
Underneath her obedient life is a sense of helplessness. It has become part of her very nature…almost like breathing. Why? Because she is weak. She can feel her restless heart, her tendency to compare herself to others. She is shocked at how jealousy can well up in her. She notices how easily the world gets its hooks in her. In short, she distrusts herself. When she looks at other people, she sees the same struggles. The world, the flesh, and the devil are too much for her. The result? Her heart cries out to God in prayer. She needs Jesus.
I need Jesus.
My constant prayer is that my book and our story will bring God glory.
When I first staring working towards my God-Sized dream of writing a book, I had one goal.
If only one person grew closer to Jesus through our story, than I would have succeeded.
That prayer was answered before the book was ever published.
And then again as non-believers opened the book and read our story and God’s word sprinkled though out.
One person growing closer to Jesus – that should be enough. {Tweet This}
So I will continue to pray that our story touches those who turn the pages of my book.
I will try my best to ignore the numbers and focus instead on what God is trying to accomplish in me.
Because I believe Philippians 1:6, “He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”